HERCULE PUFFS!
by Bexiekun
Summary: While watching TV, Chichi and Gohan see a commercial for Mr. Satan's new breakfast cereal - HERCULE PUFFS! The food of Champions! TASTE THE POWERRRR! Chapter 4 - what do Goku and King Kai think of Hercule's explosive new cereal!
1. Chapter 1

**You know how sometimes, when you're trying to sleep, a random thought pops into your head and just doesn't go away? Well, that's what this is. No plot, no point, just a random little story that kept me awake all night last night. *shakes fist***

**Inspired by King Kai and Goku.**

**King Kai: Can you imagine that face on a cereal box?**

**Goku: Oh yeah, I can see it now! Hercule Puffs!**

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><p>The TV burbled away in the background. No-one in the room was paying it any particular attention. Gohan had his baby brother Goten on his lap, bouncing him up and down, pulling faces. Chichi was sipping a cup of tea, watching her boys with a small smile on her face.<p>

The quiet family atmosphere was ruined when a loud voice suddenly boomed out of the TV, making them jump.

"Are you ready... FOR TRUE POWERRRR?"

Gohan and Chichi looked at the TV. Hercule Satan's face was currently filling the entire screen, grinning like a madman.

"I said, ARE YOU REEEEADY?" he bellowed. An unseen crowd began to cheer. "Then you need HERCUUULE PUUUUUFFS!" Hercule suddenly brandished a box of cereal at the camera. The box featured a cartoon Hercule throttling Cell with one hand, while holding up a spoonful of cereal in the other.

The commercial then cut to scenes of Hercule doing macho poses, bellowing loudly. Then he ferociously chomped on some cereal as though it had personally wronged him in some way before breaking the bowl into pieces in his hands, giving another yell.

"All new Hercule Puffs are fortified with essential vitamins and iron to make you big and strong – like ME! It's the REAL food of CHAMPIONS! Choose Hercule Puffs, and you too could have the power that defeated Cell!"

Just then a disclaimer flashed up across the bottom of the screen, reading "*Eating Hercule Puffs will not result in martial arts prowess.", while Hercule once again did his famous tile-breaking bit. The unseen crowd started chanting "Mr. Satan! Mr. Satan!"

Hercule raised his arms in a victory pose, roaring. "Ohhhh yeah. NOW WHO LOVES MEEEE?"

The camera cut back to a shot of the cereal box sitting alongside a bowl on a table. "Hercule Puffs!" Hercule's voice sounded. "Taste the power – EVERY MORNING!"

Chichi and Gohan stared open mouthed at the TV. Gohan shook his head slightly before turning his attention back to his brother. Chichi, however, leapt to her feet, pointing a shaking finger at the TV.

"That... that _fraud!_" she screamed. "How dare he! How dare he profit off of something my baby did! I should be sitting here watching a commercial for Gohan Puffs!"

Gohan spluttered. "M-mom! Don't be silly-"

"I'M NOT!" She yelled. "You're the one who beat that horrible Cell, but _he's _taking all the credit for your hard work! _You_ should be the one appearing on TV and... and having merchandise and breakfast cereals!"

"But Mom, I don't _want _any of that!" Gohan said. He gave a shudder at the thought. But Chichi wasn't listening, still raging at the TV.

Gohan shrugged before turning back to Goten and pulling silly faces. There was no point talking to his mother when she got like this. It was just best to let her have her rant and calm down. It _was_ annoying that Hercule took the credit for things he didn't do, but at the same time, Gohan preferred it that way. He really would hate all the fame that would come his way if people knew the truth, but Hercule seemed to love it, and the people of Earth had a hero figure they could believe in. So, really, everyone was happy.

The commercial _had_ been ridiculous, though. But Gohan was willing to bet pretty much anything that within a week, Hercule Puffs would be the best-selling cereal in the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**So, this was supposed to be a one-shot. And then I just randomly thought of what Videl's reaction would be, and decided to add it on. It's pretty short, and this is the last thing I'll be adding.**

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><p>"<em>Taste the power - EVERY MORNING!"<em>

Twelve-year old Videl Satan sat frozen on the couch, her spoonful of cereal held halfway up to her open mouth as she stared at the TV in horror.

No no no. This _was not_ happening.

It was Saturday morning. Her father, Hercule, had left before she woke up that morning to appear on some early morning television show. And so Videl had fetched herself some breakfast, and plopped down in front of the TV to watch some cartoons.

She had certainly not expected to see... _that._ Her dad. In a commercial. For a breakfast cereal.

Oh, God. It had been awful. Videl closed her eyes with a groan as she thought of Monday morning.

Her classmates all idolised her father, as did the rest of the world. And why not? He _had _saved the planet from Cell, after all. But it certainly made life for his daughter difficult. No matter how much the other kids loved Hercule, they would still make fun of her. Ugh, she could see it now. She wouldn't be able to go _anywhere _without everyone mimicking her father's poses, and yelling "TASTE THE POWER!"

She groaned again. School was going to be _hell._

Just then, her mobile phone began to ring.

"Hello?" she said, flipping it open.

"Hi, baby!" her father's voice answered. "So, finally awake, huh? Up to much?"

"Not really... just been... watching some TV." She said pointedly.

"Oh? Ohhhh!" her father boomed with laughter. "Does that mean you saw my new commercial? Isn't it great?"

"Uh. Yeah. It's... _something_, alright."

"I thought of the slogan myself, y'know!"

"... Well done."

Hercule laughed again. "Anyway, I was just calling to say I should be home soon. Finished my TV spot, just have to go and say hello to my fans and sign some autographs, then I'll be back. And oh, I've also got a bunch of free boxes of Hercule Puffs! I'll be bringing them back for you to try."

"Oh, _goody_." Hercule didn't seem to pick up on the sarcasm.

"I know, isn't it great? Gotta go, sweetie pie, they're calling for me. See you later!"

Videl sighed as she threw her phone down on to the couch beside her. She loved her father dearly, but she often wished he wasn't so famous. Or that he was quite so happy about it. It was bad enough that his face was plastered all over billboards, and that he was almost constantly on TV. And now this.

She looked down at her half-eaten bowl of cereal, still cradled in her hands. With a grimace, she placed the bowl down on the coffee table and pushed it away from herself.

She didn't think she'd be able to eat another bowl of cereal for as long as she lived.


	3. Chapter 3

**I really wasn't going to add anything else to this. You can thank Gonstika for this, who suggested this in a review, and then it wouldn't get out of my head.**

**Also, if you've never heard the Ginyu Force's "Tokusentai!" song, search for it on Youtube.  
>It's hilarious. Because of this song, I now want to find 4 other people to cosplay as the Ginyu Force with, learn this song, make up a dance routine, and perform it at a convention.<br>Dibs on Jeice. :D**

It sure was boring in Hell. Nothing at all to do.

The dead villains stuck there had tried plaguing Goz and Mez for _some_ form of entertainment. They had refused – this was, after all, supposed to be _Hell,_ and fun would kind of defeat the purpose of the place.

And then the Ginyu Force had decided to make their own form of entertainment. They had started putting on shows – trying to teach others their new Super Fighting Poses, constantly challenging people to games of Rock, Paper, Scissors, and doing parapara dances. Currently, they were performing their latest dance, to a song of their own creation.

"Ah, but it's just not the same without the cap'n..." said Jeice.

"Yes, I know, but we still have to keep on top form!" replied Burter. "Now, from the top – one, two, three, four...!"

And so, while doing their carefully choreographed dance, the Ginyu Force began to sing.

"_YES WE ARE!  
>We've just arrived, the most elite warriors in the universe..."<em>

Goz and Mez groaned – an action that was mimicked by almost all present. Frieza covered his face with his hands.

"_We've decided on chocolate parfait for our afternoon snack, and we won't share any with you!  
>TOKUSENTAI! TOKUSENTAI! TOKUSENTAI! TOKU-"<em>

"All right! All right! We'll find something for you guys to do!" yelled Goz. "But please, no more dancing!"

And that was how the big crystal ball came to be here. A spare one belonging to someone called Baba, apparently, but the villains didn't much care where it had come from.

"So we can see anything on this thing?" asked Burter.

"Yup," replied Mez. "Anything at all. Check in on stuff round the universe, see what people are up to, heck, you can even get Earth TV! So quit the dancing, okay?"

"All right! Sounds cool!" exclaimed Jeice. He elbowed other people out of the way to get closer to the ball. "Let's see how the cap'n is doing!" At his words, images began to flash up on the sphere. "Oh _no!_ Poor ol' Cap'n Ginyu is still a frog!"

Soon, Earth TV was the main thing being viewed by the villains. It was, surprisingly, pretty entertaining – even though many arguments broke out over what to watch.

"I can't take this anymore! Change the damn channel!" barked Frieza.

"But Lord Frieza, I _like_ the X Factor!"

"I won't tell you again, Recoome! Change the channel, or I'll-"

"Are you ready... FOR TRUE POWERRRRRRR?"

Frieza stopped talking, staring at the ball, as did everyone else. A burly earthling was shouting and munching on cereal – the box for which had a cartoon of the earthling in question strangling Cell.

"Choose Hercule Puffs, and you too could have the power that defeated Cell!"

Simultaneously, all heads turned to stare at the android in question, who was suddenly looking livid.

"Taste the power – EVERY MORNING!"

A few moments of stunned silence followed. Then a few titters sounded before everyone burst out into laughter, while Cell flushed with anger and embarrassment.

"Oh my goodness!" choked Frieza. "_That's_ who defeated you?"

"It... it wasn't him!" mumbled Cell. "That man is a foolish weakling! He didn't defeat me, it was the boy!"

"Oh yes, little monkey Gohan!" laughed Frieza. "The _child_ who wasn't even a match for me!"

"He... he trained a lot since then!"

"Oh my! And here I thought the Ginyu Force were embarrassing!"

The laughter continued. "Oh man, Burter! Can you believe it? That guy must be hailed as a great hero down on that mudball! Oh Cell, what was it like, facing TRUE POWERRRR?" asked Jeice.

"I told you, that buffoon is nothing but a fame-hungry weakling! He is nothing, _nothing,_ in comparison to my perfection!"

"I think the fact that you're here means your 'perfection' wasn't worth much, buddy!" laughed Recoome.

"But hey, in all seriousness, guys, that guy had some pretty good poses!" said Jeice. "Maybe we could use some of them?"

The Ginyu Force stood up and together began to copy the macho poses Hercule had done.

"Hey, how's this?" said Burter. "Taste the power, Cell!"

"Yeah, see my true power! Every morning!"

"... SHUT UP!"


	4. Chapter 4

_"Get out of the way, Bubbles!"  
><em>"Oooook!"

King Kai sighed dejectedly. They had finally finished building his new house on Snake Way just a couple of days ago - or so he guessed. It wasn't like 'days' actually passed here, so he really had no way of knowing.

_'Why did Goku have to bring Cell to MY planet to self-destruct? My lovely, personal little planet... my home... my CAR...' _ he took another annoyed swipe at Bubbles, who was hopping around him, still ook-ing away. _'And it didn't even work anyway! My poor planet, MY POOR CAR, gone for nothing!'_

"Hey, King Kai!" Goku said brightly, oblivious to King Kai's turmoil as he walked in from doing Gods only knows what outside. What was there for him to DO on Snake Way, anyway? "Whatcha doin'?"

"Just watching some TV." he muttered back. He was still stinging over being dead and wasn't in much of a mood for Goku's cheerfulness, seeing as it was his fault anyway.  
>"Oh? How did you even get that TV?"<br>"I'm kinda a god, Goku. I have my ways."  
>"Oh, okay. But... don't you want to train me instead?" King Kai snorted. At least it was a commercial break, so Goku wasn't interrupting his stories.<br>"For what, Mr Super Saiyan? I think you're pretty past the need for my Kaioken now, don't you? Even if you did Kaioken times a billion, it wouldn't-"

"ARE YOU READY... FOR TRUE POWERRRRR?!"

King Kai sputtered into silence as Hercule Satan's face suddenly filled the entire screen.  
>"Oh hey!" smiled Goku. "It's that guy from the Cell Games! He wasn't very good, was he?"<p>

"Choose Hercule Puffs, and you too could have the power that defeated Cell!"

Both King Kai and Goku watched in silence as Hercule did his usual ridiculous feats of "strength". Even Bubbles stopped mid-ook to watch.

"Taste the power... EVERY MORNING!"

King Kai blinked a few times before his usual nasal laughter bubbled forth.

"Wow, Goku... when you joked about there being a Hercule cereal, I didn't think it would actually happen!"  
>"Hah, yeah, and even with the same name, too. Gee, I wonder if Chichi's seen this? I don't think she'd be happy about him taking credit for what Gohan did..."<br>"Did you see his face while he was doing the roaring? Pffffft..."  
>"Those Hercule Puffs did look good, though. I'll bet it's <em>honey<em> flavored... mmm. Hey, King Kai, do you think you could get me some?" Goku pleaded, doing his best puppy dog eyes.  
>"What? No! How the heck am I supposed to get you cereal from Earth?!"<br>"You got the TV, didn't you? What trouble's a little cereal? You are a _god_, after all. Come onnnnn, King Kaaaaai..."  
>King Kai coughed awkwardly, not wanting to admit he had to practically beg King Enma for the TV and hadn't got it through some godly powers like he had insinuated.<br>"I said no, Goku. I don't use my... ways... for such trivial things as cereal." he said, hoping he sounded mysterious. "Now leave me be, my show's back on."

Later that evening (or morning... or whatever it was), King Kai stretched as he rose from the couch before heading outside.  
>"Hey Goku, I'm sure you're hungry. What shall we do for dinn-" he stopped mid sentence as Goku looked up at him from the bowl in his hands, his mouth bulging before he swallowed.<br>"Goku... how... did you get that cereal?"  
>"Muffin button."<br>"... What?"  
>"What?"<p>

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><p><strong>This was just a quickly written thing to let you all know... I'm alive. xD If you've been wondering about what happened to my Krillin18 fic, A Little Kindness, I do want to finish it. Check my profile if you're wondering why I haven't updated in a while, hah. It's been a while since I watched these episodes of DBZ btw - I THINK King Kai built a new house on Snake Way... right? Anyway, it just felt fitting to finally write a short chapter about the two characters that first planted the idea of Hercule Puffs in my head, even if it is a couple years late :P  
>Also... I hope the Dragonball Z Abridged reference wasn't too much. I just couldn't resist. Those folks at Team Four Star have <strong>_**ruined**_** DBZ for me. RUINED I SAY. xD**


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